


I Thought It Would Never Happen Again

by SummerRoses0612



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Avengers Tower, BAMF Tony Stark, Betrayal, DO NOT COPY, F/M, Gen, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) Feels, Jarvis makes a mistake, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Medical Torture, No Avengers as Family, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Psychological Torture, Sneaky Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Surgery, Therapy, Timeline What Timeline, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Gets Therapy, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Anxiety Attacks, Tony Stark Has Nightmares, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Has Trust Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Still Has Arc Reactor, Tony Stark has Anxiety, Tony Stark-centric, Torture, With the Open Heart Surgery in a Cave?, Worried Jarvis (Iron Man movies), do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:28:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28280145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerRoses0612/pseuds/SummerRoses0612
Summary: When Tony is hurt Jarvis makes an executive decision to knock out Tony. It doesn't go over well.OrWhen Jarvis knocks Tony out without telling him he's hurt he wakes up in the middle of a surgery for the second time, bringing PTSD and Anxiety.
Relationships: Background-Bruce Banner/James "Bucky" Barnes, Background-Natasha Romanov/Clint Barton, Bruce Banner/James "Bucky" Barnes, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) & Tony Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	I Thought It Would Never Happen Again

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or anything related to the franchize. 
> 
> Warning- This story contains: Talk of medical procedures, anxiety, PTSD, anxiety attacks, discussion of past torture, etc.
> 
> Read the tags and don't read if something in them will trigger you.

The fight had just ended; none of the team injured, no civilian casualties, and barely any property damage. It had been one of their easiest fights that week, everyone except Tony already laughing and getting ready to start their weekends. 

Tony did another quick mental check, not really paying attention so he missed the obvious. Jarvis did a quick check of his creator, catching the place where a small piece of flying pipe had nicked a couple important organs. 

In a couple more minutes Sir would feel the injury and panic, only making it worse. Knowing this Jarvis made a decision he could only hope wouldn't backfire spectacularly. 

As Tony started to fly away his noticed the dizzy feeling associated with being drugged fill him. The silence from his AI was more than telling.

"What? Jarvis? Why are you gassing me?-" Stark said, words slurred before he was finally knocked out. 

Jarvis took control of the suit and guided them to the nearest hospital. He took control of the situation, telling the surgeon that Tony was already knocked out and would be for another couple hours. Told them that there was a piece of shrapnel from the pipe that hit a couple major organs. 

He told them everything in the hopes that they could quickly finish the surgery so that he could apologize for what he had done to his creator. 

If he had known what was going to happen he would have let Sir panic. Would have told him everything right then and asked for an update because his circuit was acting up. But he didn't.

-

Tony woke up only thirty minutes later to the feeling of someone cutting him open and hands inside of his body for the second time in his life. The difference was the fact that there was no screaming in Middle Eastern languages above him, it wasn't unbearably hot, he wasn't being held down, he couldn't move, and that the sterile smell he associated with hospitals was strong in his nose. 

He was paralyzed, forced to lay there as they cut him open, as they talked around him like this was something that they did everyday. Nobody heard him screaming inside his head as he was operated on and feeling it all for the second time. None of the surgeons noticed any chance, the heart monitor never wavering and the random twitching of his body normal for someone under anesthesia. 

He just focused on breathing, nightmares already making their way into the forefront of his mind and burning into his memory. Bright lights over him, the scrubs of the nurses, cutting and stitching inside of him, the copper of blood and the sterile of hospital mixing in his brain to the soundtrack of Jarvis' telling silence. 

Betrayal, terror, resignation, and bitter amusement colored his thoughts, two taking the stage.

_I won't ever be able to get in the suit again and pretend that I'm not scared I'll end up here._

_I'm really going to need to talk to my therapist again without Jarvis watching._

The surgery ended, finally. They bandaged him up and wheeled him back to his room under the watchful gaze of Jarvis. They slowly took the tubes out of his throat, changing his IV and put a nasal cannula on him before leaving. He just laid there with his eyes closed, the doctor having closed them when she realized they were open as they were bringing him to his room. 

He knew the new nightmares were just going to build on the ones he had finally freed himself from. He knew that the night would be horrible.

He fell asleep, not feeling reassured by the presence of his AI anymore. 

-

He woke up fully able to move, a shaking hand coming up to his nose as he was still caught in a cold Afghanistan cave. Feeling the smooth plastic and not a tube brought him back to himself, away from the waterboarding and pain and terror only to push him straight into the deep end of betrayal and depression as he remembered what had happened the day before.

"Are you alright, Sir?" The AI asked from the speaker of Tony's phone on the side table.

Tony flinched at the voice before picking up his phone and looking at his alerts.

Pepper and Rhodey had called, probably something to do work, and Steve because he had missed the debrief if the voicemail was anything to go by. 

Nobody could have known how fundamentally his life had changed in a day. Nobody would realize the way that everything felt different today the same way that everything had felt different in the company of Yinsen. 

He ignored the AI's attempts to talk to him, not ready to acknowledge the conflicting whirlwind of emotions that his trauma and trust issues shouted at him, and made sure that everyone got a response they would be happy with.

Pepper: I was in a battle, Jarvis forced me to go to the hospital. I'll have everything done when they finally let me go.

Rhodey: I'm still not sending the military another suit, it's your job to deal with them.

Steve: I got a concussion and Jarvis made me go to the hospital. I'll talk to you when they let me out. It will only be another day or two.

He was silent as they check him over, only answering yes or no questions.

"When am I good to leave?" Tony asked finally when the chatty nurse gave him an opening.

She stopped talking, pausing for a moment before going back to rearranging the blanket over his legs.

"The doctor thinks that you should stay for another night and then be on bed rest for two weeks."

"Sure, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

And then she left, taking the dismissal for what it was and leaving him to his own thoughts. 

"Sir?" Jarvis asked again, mentally wincing at how Tony jostled the stitches with his flinch before remembering that he was the cause of it.

"Why did you knock me out?" The injured man asked, ready to get through with the initial explanations before he got out

"You would have panicked when you realized that you were hurt and that would have made everything worse." 

"What did you use?"

"Propofol" Jarvis instantly responded, getting a bad feeling about where this was going.

"Did you know that with my history of surgeries and partying I am very good at processing drugs?"

The AI felt something like a bucket of ice cover him, realizing that in his worry he had miscalculated in a way that could ruin everything.

"Sir...." Jarvis started, not even knowing how to express the regret he was feeling

Tony just shook his head and they both fell silent, the man falling asleep after an hour or so more. The AI just went through all of his servers and reorganized everything so that he would never make a mistake even remotely like it again. He knew that if the man ever forgave him nothing would be the same again. 

-

When Tony got home finally he met with Steve first thing and debriefed on everything, having decided not to tell anyone about what had happened. Then he went down to the lab, changing the protocols to mean that Jarvis could never employ something that would incapacitate him in any way without his express permission or absolute life or death situations. Feeling only slightly better he got into the elevator and went to bed. 

He did everything robotically, coding Jarvis out of his bedroom before calling his therapist and setting a meeting for later that day. 

Her name was Mary Codewill, a nice older lady that specializes in PTSD and torture trauma. 

"What have you been doing to last couple of days?" Mary started out, trying to ease them into the conversation and accidently hitting the nail directly on the head. 

He told her everything; that he had been in the battle, that he had been injured and before the adrenaline had worn off Jarvis had knocked him out, how he had woken up and was trapped in his own body and screaming for everything to stop. How he feels betrayed and terrified at the thought of ever even looking at the Iron Man armour again. Mary just sat quietly, letting him get it all out and only speaking when his hushed words finally stopped.

"Have you have any nightmares?"

"Yes, they mix with the cave and Obie and every bad experience I've ever had with a hospital." 

"Ok, here's what I want you to do for me. I want you to remember how you felt when you woke up in that cave and realized what had happened..... Got it?..... Good. I want you to tell me how you feel compared to that."

"I feel like I had no choice but instead of circumstance it was Jarvis that put me in that position. I feel like I shouldn't feel that way because I know that it's not his fault but at the same time I haven't delusioned myself into believing that I'll ever have the same relationship with Iron Man and Jarvis as I did."

"Your feelings are valid, Jarvis made a choice, as one does, and it resulted in you being hurt. He didn't mean to but all that it takes is one tiny mistake for something in you to be triggered and this happened to hit most of your big ones. When you feel ready you should talk this out with Jarvis, tell him how you feel about the armour and him making choices for you that are similar. For the time being just try to focus on the emotional side of things first before worrying about the physical. Time will heal your body but only you can heal your mind."

They talked for the rest of the couple hours about everything and nothing, Tony feeling more settled than he had since before the last fight. 

-

"The last time that I was tortured through surgery was by terrorists and when I woke up that time I felt hurt and angry but nothing else. This time I felt betrayed and anxious. I know that it wasn't you but right now just the thought of getting back into the suit terrifies me and my nightmares are finally getting better again."

"I'm sorry, Sir. If you ever want to get back into the suit I will stick to your new protocol for me. I can only hope that in time I can gain back your trust."

And that was the end of it. The conversation that he had been dreading for a week over and done in a couple sentences, the words taking weight off his shoulders he hadn't even realized was there. 

-

He resigned from the Avengers for personal reasons, none of the team really caring once he promised that he would come in for an emergency. 

He focussed on himself, slowly integrating himself back into the suit until just the thought of being inside of it didn't make him want to scream. He built himself a new one, all by hand, cathartic in a way he never thought it would be, before destroying it. 

An end and a symbolic beginning. 

Jarvis and Tony's relationship recovered eventually, never what it once was but better in some ways. They were more conscious of the other's boundaries, more familiar with the way the other's mind worked. 

Tony got back into the suit eventually, the pair working together like always but more attuned to each other. They fought better than ever.

They may not be what they once were, Tony more broken than before and Jarvis with a new facet of personality. 

But relationships required work, they were just finally having theirs tested. 

* * *

_Comments, kudos, constructive criticism, and pairings/prompts that you'd like to see from me are alway welcome. -Rose_


End file.
